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May 28th, 2005
May 13th, 2005
10:02 pm
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May 9th, 2005
08:48 pm
Its MAY 9th and i have done my plan with the exception of my anniversary in which i ate bread...cause we went out to dinner
other than that and baked beans on mothers day my diet has consisted of Veggggies...fruit...liquids..:)
i was 110 and now i am 106
and i eat whenever i want i am tempted to fast so the weight will come off quicker but i know fasting leads to binging so i will stick to this...its working slowly but surely
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May 1st, 2005
08:27 pm
so im 110
after dinner
ew
just 20 pounds to go
once im at like 104ish i get this control high and its usually easy after that
well its MAY 1st 2005
a new month
and my plan is liquids, vegetables, and fruit
i can def do that no problem cause im VEGAN
just no starches like bread and what not
i weighed myself for the first time in 3 weeks
it was scary
no matter how much i eat i always end up at 110
so i know thats the weight im supposed to be
my pants are not fitting like i would like them to though
kinda tight
ugh
well im off to do homework and bed
nites
stats 5'3 110
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February 7th, 2005
08:58 pm
Don't you know it's gone, too wrong,
Early warning,
How could it have come to this,
We're dyin' tryin',
It's a long way down,
But no one in this crowd,
Can stop me from hitting the ground.
Cos' now I've got, nothing to hold the falling,
So how can I, survive this sinking feeling.
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January 24th, 2005
07:41 pm
so total today : 650
not so bad for being stuck in the house all day!
i will do 1/2 hr of pilates abs before i go to bed too that will burn
about 100 and i will lift weights too
so i fell ok
im sick too so i need some energy
i WILL DO BETTER TOMORROW!
thats a fact
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07:39 pm
i had to eat dinner to take my meds
oatmean with sweet and low and some rasins - 200 cals :(
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06:18 pm
food update
1/4 banana and 10 blueberries - 50cals?
popsicle- 40 cals
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02:18 pm
so i woke up at 3am
with a fever
i hate how im sick all the time
i drank 200 cals worth of gatorade and went back to bed
at breakfast i had some green tea and my mother was like "what
are you going to eat that is solid today, huh?" so i had 1/2 a banana
and then for lunch i had some green tea and an apple.
i feel like a fat ass though
so much for my liquid fast!
i have fucking exams this week too so
i will have to eat fruit or something to think.
i really want to be thin
i was 107 last night
and i woke up 101
and i feel like god gave that to me
like a second chance as stupid as that sounds
i just want to get to 90
i want it so bad
and i will do it!
today ive had
gatorade - 200
1/2 bananna-50
apple - 100
green tea (2)-0
total- 350 :)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) hopeful
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January 23rd, 2005
04:02 pm
600ish** haha wow cant count
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04:00 pm
more liquids:
tomatoe soup: 100
apple cider: 200
total so far 650ish
ahh i need my stomach to shrink!
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10:51 am
LIQUID FAST STARTED SUNDAY MORNING 12:00 AM
TODAY SO FAR
-GATORADE (200CALS)
-OJ (50CALS)
-POPCICLE (40 CALS)
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January 20th, 2005
07:42 pm
last night was fucking horrible
i had a stomach bug
i was vomiting
and burping
it was coming out of both ends
i felt so horrible
esp cause i ate nuts all day long
i could hardly keep the gatorade down
on top of that ive had my period for 10 days
it wont go away
due to my BC
god
haha
and im 103
which
is
disgusting
im such a fat ass
i want to be skinny
i need to fast again like i used to
i have a problem i never go through with it
cause my damn meds make me hungry
i need to go exercise
now!
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January 19th, 2005
04:55 pm
i feel so sick
ive been on a raw food diet
its a kind of vegan
for the past 3 days
and i have had my period for 9 days
and i want to shoot myself
all the fruits and nuts have made me real acidy
i just ate half of a bagle w/o butter or anything to soak up teh acid
i feel a little better now
but im almost up to 105
im such a fat ass
my period makes me eat but thats no excuse
i want to liquid fast tomorrow
but with all this blood loss idk if i can do it
aahhhh
i want to go to the gym too but i would probably pass out
im real frustrated at my whole situation
ahhh
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January 13th, 2005
06:34 pm
what the hell
dinner was forced down me
well not really i was hungry
vege baked beans - 250
rye crackers - 100
celery and tomatoes- 25
so around 375
plus my 2 tosie rolls gum and diet soda = 450ish
ahh
so much for fasting
hey
i didnt binge
no more of that
:)
i wish i could do this every day
if i stay under 500 everyday ill lose weight right?
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02:48 pm
School was shitty
but good eating wise
i wrote everything in my journal so i could keep track
3 diet sodas
water
3 pieces of gum
i want a save the forest vegan choc bananna bar so bad
and pita with hummus
thats what im craving
ahh so hungry
the first day is shitty
well the 1st 3 days are shitty to be honest
ar ar ar
HUNGRY
maybe i will settle for some green tea
i weighed myself after school
it said 99lbs
idk how that happened
esp after my 3000 calorie binge yesterday
idk
well 99 and counting
9 pounds to go
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January 12th, 2005
08:24 pm
i hope everyone is watching this show
its def thinspiration
its on NBC 8-9 :)
the gym was ok
i had to get back for my show though haha
i did a lot of arm work
and some elyptical but i felt so sick from all the food i ate
i cant wait to start my fast tomorrow
whos gonna join me?
i went for a week before xmas and lost 12 lbs
im going at it again
please join!
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08:20 pm - quote
quote from sports illustrated model search show
"whatever you put into your body, it will show through your skin"
this is officially my new favorite quote
i will live by this!
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05:31 pm
ok so i went to bed at 9 last nigght
real early for me
woke up at 11pm
starving and cold
ignored it and went back to bed
woke up at 3 starving and cold
got up
weighed myseld
drank water
went back to bed
then work up time for school
dizzy
in the shower all i could think about was an apple
so i ran downstairs with my towel on and made fruit salad for breakfast
and my mom packed me a lunch too
so i ate that in french class and gave my kudos and chips to this chick next to me
and througout the day
i couldnt stop
i have no power
once i eat
i cant stop
and thats how my day goes
so heres what i ate
-----------------------
fruit salad- 400cals
orange- 80
rasins - 110
carrots- 30
salad- 150
peanuts - 100
rye crackers- 150
soup - 100
rye crackers again - 200
vegan butter - 50
apple - 80
tea crackers - 200
hot chocolate -80
chips - 150
candy - 50
4 granola bars - 500
---------------------
grand total : 2430calories
wow thats just pathetic
to think that at christmas i couldnt even get half of a banana down
and now im eating that
thats fucking disgucting im horrified
im going to be so fat when i wake up in the morning
im going to the gym right now
and now getting off of the maching until i feel like im going to pass out
why did i do this
is it my period?
lack of self control?
i hate myself right now
i really do
over 2000 calories
and to think i was going to do liquids today
im a failure
no
tonight im watching that reality model search sports illustrated thing
and then im fasting
til i cant fucking fast anymore
i need support
please leave me replys
ahh
ok off to the gym
wish me luck
-----------
stats
5'2
105
gw-90 :)
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