THIN IS IN AND OUT OF CONTROL

"great abs" click here

Sat, 28 May 2005 21:10:06 GMT

http://www.intense-workout.com/ab_workouts.html

Sat, 14 May 2005 02:02:14 GMT

Tue, 10 May 2005 00:50:40 GMT

Its MAY 9th and i have done my plan with the exception of my anniversary in which i ate bread...cause we went out to dinner
other than that and baked beans on mothers day my diet has consisted of Veggggies...fruit...liquids..:)
i was 110 and now i am 106
and i eat whenever i want i am tempted to fast so the weight will come off quicker but i know fasting leads to binging so i will stick to this...its working slowly but surely

Mon, 02 May 2005 00:27:14 GMT

so im 110
after dinner
ew
just 20 pounds to go
once im at like 104ish i get this control high and its usually easy after that
well its MAY 1st 2005
a new month
and my plan is liquids, vegetables, and fruit
i can def do that no problem cause im VEGAN
just no starches like bread and what not
i weighed myself for the first time in 3 weeks
it was scary
no matter how much i eat i always end up at 110
so i know thats the weight im supposed to be
my pants are not fitting like i would like them to though
kinda tight
ugh
well im off to do homework and bed
nites

stats 5'3 110

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 01:58:09 GMT

Don't you know it's gone, too wrong,
Early warning,
How could it have come to this,
We're dyin' tryin',
It's a long way down,
But no one in this crowd,
Can stop me from hitting the ground.
Cos' now I've got, nothing to hold the falling,
So how can I, survive this sinking feeling.

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 00:42:25 GMT

so total today : 650

not so bad for being stuck in the house all day!
i will do 1/2 hr of pilates abs before i go to bed too that will burn
about 100 and i will lift weights too
so i fell ok
im sick too so i need some energy
i WILL DO BETTER TOMORROW!
thats a fact

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 00:40:31 GMT

i had to eat dinner to take my meds
oatmean with sweet and low and some rasins - 200 cals :(

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 23:19:39 GMT

food update

1/4 banana and 10 blueberries - 50cals?
popsicle- 40 cals

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 19:20:51 GMT

so i woke up at 3am
with a fever
i hate how im sick all the time
i drank 200 cals worth of gatorade and went back to bed
at breakfast i had some green tea and my mother was like "what
are you going to eat that is solid today, huh?" so i had 1/2 a banana
and then for lunch i had some green tea and an apple.
i feel like a fat ass though
so much for my liquid fast!
i have fucking exams this week too so
i will have to eat fruit or something to think.
i really want to be thin
i was 107 last night
and i woke up 101
and i feel like god gave that to me
like a second chance as stupid as that sounds
i just want to get to 90
i want it so bad
and i will do it!
today ive had
gatorade - 200
1/2 bananna-50
apple - 100
green tea (2)-0
total- 350 :)

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 21:02:41 GMT

600ish** haha wow cant count

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 21:01:38 GMT

550ish***

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 21:01:00 GMT

more liquids:

tomatoe soup: 100
apple cider: 200

total so far 650ish

ahh i need my stomach to shrink!

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 15:53:09 GMT

LIQUID FAST STARTED SUNDAY MORNING 12:00 AM
TODAY SO FAR
-GATORADE (200CALS)
-OJ (50CALS)
-POPCICLE (40 CALS)

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 00:44:14 GMT

last night was fucking horrible
i had a stomach bug
i was vomiting
and burping
it was coming out of both ends
i felt so horrible
esp cause i ate nuts all day long
i could hardly keep the gatorade down
on top of that ive had my period for 10 days
it wont go away
due to my BC
god
haha
and im 103
which
is
disgusting
im such a fat ass
i want to be skinny
i need to fast again like i used to
i have a problem i never go through with it
cause my damn meds make me hungry
i need to go exercise
now!

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 21:58:00 GMT

i feel so sick
ive been on a raw food diet
its a kind of vegan
for the past 3 days
and i have had my period for 9 days
and i want to shoot myself
all the fruits and nuts have made me real acidy
i just ate half of a bagle w/o butter or anything to soak up teh acid
i feel a little better now
but im almost up to 105
im such a fat ass
my period makes me eat but thats no excuse
i want to liquid fast tomorrow
but with all this blood loss idk if i can do it
aahhhh
i want to go to the gym too but i would probably pass out
im real frustrated at my whole situation
ahhh

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 23:36:30 GMT

what the hell
dinner was forced down me
well not really i was hungry

vege baked beans - 250
rye crackers - 100
celery and tomatoes- 25
so around 375
plus my 2 tosie rolls gum and diet soda = 450ish
ahh
so much for fasting
hey
i didnt binge
no more of that
:)
i wish i could do this every day
if i stay under 500 everyday ill lose weight right?

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 19:51:45 GMT

School was shitty
but good eating wise
i wrote everything in my journal so i could keep track
3 diet sodas
water
3 pieces of gum

i want a save the forest vegan choc bananna bar so bad
and pita with hummus
thats what im craving
ahh so hungry
the first day is shitty
well the 1st 3 days are shitty to be honest
ar ar ar
HUNGRY
maybe i will settle for some green tea
i weighed myself after school
it said 99lbs
idk how that happened
esp after my 3000 calorie binge yesterday
idk

well 99 and counting
9 pounds to go

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 01:26:00 GMT

i hope everyone is watching this show
its def thinspiration
its on NBC 8-9 :)

the gym was ok
i had to get back for my show though haha
i did a lot of arm work
and some elyptical but i felt so sick from all the food i ate
i cant wait to start my fast tomorrow
whos gonna join me?
i went for a week before xmas and lost 12 lbs
im going at it again
please join!

quote

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 01:20:52 GMT

quote from sports illustrated model search show

"whatever you put into your body, it will show through your skin"

this is officially my new favorite quote
i will live by this!

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 22:56:14 GMT

ok so i went to bed at 9 last nigght
real early for me
woke up at 11pm
starving and cold
ignored it and went back to bed
woke up at 3 starving and cold
got up
weighed myseld
drank water
went back to bed
then work up time for school
dizzy
in the shower all i could think about was an apple
so i ran downstairs with my towel on and made fruit salad for breakfast
and my mom packed me a lunch too
so i ate that in french class and gave my kudos and chips to this chick next to me
and througout the day
i couldnt stop
i have no power
once i eat
i cant stop
and thats how my day goes
so heres what i ate
-----------------------
fruit salad- 400cals
orange- 80
rasins - 110
carrots- 30
salad- 150
peanuts - 100
rye crackers- 150
soup - 100
rye crackers again - 200
vegan butter - 50
apple - 80
tea crackers - 200
hot chocolate -80
chips - 150
candy - 50
4 granola bars - 500
---------------------
grand total : 2430calories

wow thats just pathetic
to think that at christmas i couldnt even get half of a banana down
and now im eating that
thats fucking disgucting im horrified
im going to be so fat when i wake up in the morning
im going to the gym right now
and now getting off of the maching until i feel like im going to pass out
why did i do this
is it my period?
lack of self control?
i hate myself right now
i really do
over 2000 calories
and to think i was going to do liquids today
im a failure
no
tonight im watching that reality model search sports illustrated thing
and then im fasting
til i cant fucking fast anymore
i need support
please leave me replys
ahh
ok off to the gym
wish me luck
-----------
stats
5'2
105
gw-90 :)

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 00:27:02 GMT

why doesn't anyone leave me messages or reply :(
that makes me sad
anyways
after my last post i had 5 bites of tomato soup-30
diet coke 2 - 0
hot chocolate
so today total around 250
i need my stomach to shrinnk
oh ya
went to the gym
went down to the locker room was all pumped to work out
got my period
i think
so i left and went home
it wasnt a lot of blood idk i hardly ever get it maybe every 3 months and its like a one day thing
anyone else have this?
idk
or maybe its just "spotting" cause im on BC
idk
helpp!
well
heres my list b4 bed
french homework
chem homework
alg2 homework
history maybe
nails
workout (sit ups free weights with arms)
then sleep
oh and if law and order is on then def that
no im not staying up that late
the more i sleep the less hungry i am
so i need sleep
ahh
good night!
fast again tomorrow!
i love LIQUIDS :)
esp green tea!
:)

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 18:15:56 GMT

ahh
just had another hot chocolate
better than food
and i need cals so my meta wont slow
and im going to the gym tonight
i will burn every cal i take in
i also weighed myself after i peed
haha
102:)

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 17:15:52 GMT

just had lunch
hot chocolate -80 cals
total-110
not bad
i weighed myself too
104
bad
very bad
ew
fat
90 90 90 here i come
i need to go do something productive

hello

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 16:31:28 GMT

Didn't go to school today
i woke up feeling so tired, i didn't sleep that great last night school blows anyways.
im loving my liquid fast
im feeling empty already :)
anyone want to join me?
im not sure how long im going for
as long as i can
ive had
3 diet v-8 splashes - 30 cals
water- 0
:)

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 02:00:38 GMT

15 to go
thats not so bad
if only i could gain some strengh
no one is stopping me
no one is getting in the way of my happiness
the only person doing those things are me
why would i do that to myself
how did i allow myself to gain 5
candy with him this weekend
bags of candy
bags of revolting chemicals and sugar
i swallowd
took down
for him? im not sure
for my greed maybe
today. oh what a mess
tomorrow i will carry my journal
and write down everything that i put in my mouth
this is disgusting
my pants are tight
i am an ugly mess
you cant see the real me through all of this
im hidden
im lost under pounds
i feel sick
i want to be pure again
pure
pure
pure
what the hell happened
liquids
water tomorrow
i will torture myself for messing up once again today
maybe that will teach me something
no more fucking upd
god
im such a failure sometimes
there always room for improvement
screw everyone else
i will be there
soon
15 lbs
15 days
there we go
setting some goals
90 here i come
i will go drink some water
and clean my room
and maybe some college aps
but i need my rest because tire=hungry and i do not want that
gym tomorrow!
ahh
i think i can i think i can
5'2
105
GOAL:90
ah beautiful